Pain is Temporary.
Do the scars remain?
Before I start, I want to thank and appreciate Aman Panchal for allowing me to dig deep in his past few years of a life-changing experience. In his words, he says, “I learned to live”.
Wait…Who is he?
Nobody, though Somebody. Pick one random person from the crowd, he is the one. He is not a celebrity or not a media feeder, though he is a human being. He is one of those many people who give up or disappear in the situation of inescapable stress and depression. He is here to help us. He wants to share his life, what he has gone through and his thoughts on some important aspects of life.
This is really an off-bit Article for me. I’m gonna talk about Mental Health.
I wanted to spread awareness about mental issues such as Stress, Anxiety, Pressure or Expectations(from Family, Work, Society…and your dog)and all those heavy thoughts wanted you to quit everything.
If I am able to provide value to atleast one person in this world, It’s worth writing here.
Yes, It’s hard to talk about those…
- How can you have mental issues?
- How can you be so weak??
- What? You’re coward.
- HaHaHa… (This is scary, I know.)
But let me tell you this, You are not alone. And you matter. Yes, You!!
But lets’ not afraid, let’s talk, let it out…
And those from the other side, I urge rather beg everyone to listen, console your friend, brother, sister, children, parent, husband or wife. They need you.
Pain is Temporary. — Anonymous
Oh wait, you know what, even Famous Celebrity person like Wil Wheaton had suffered from stress and depression, read here:
I asked some questions to Aman while discussing those issues and some of them really put me in a position to change mine thinking.
1. Define Success. What’s wrong with the general perception of Success?
People think success is 6 digit salary, big bungalow and car, etc. But if you’re able to convince yourself that you're enjoying and satisfied with what you have then it is a success. But this has to come genuinely from you rather than someone else telling it to you.
People say I want this then I’ll be happy or I’ll get that then I’ll be happy. Success is basically being happy and it comes from everything that you have And not from anything that you want.
If you’re okay with what are you doing and what you have. You should work on that if you’re thinking the other way. I’m personally working on it. Happiness should be the ultimate Goal! Whatever you do.
2. Other People’s opinions on your life?
Until very much age I was thinking that whatever these people say is correct or they say it from their experience. But I had been through a time where all these opinions didn’t matter. I had chronic depression and there was no one to go to except my father.
I had breakup during back then and I was mentally broken. My family was worried about what people will think due to the situation we were in during that time. Nothing was my fault but it looked bad on my side.
(Side note: I feel it is important to mention about the breakup because it is a different kind of stress which will help people understand the situation)
I gathered the courage and faced each and everyone out there who was looking down on me.
I was in a bad financial situation at that time and I’ve decided to move to Dubai. My father was worried that people will think that you’re escaping the situation but I told him that, “I don’t care about anybody right now. These people are enjoying the drama.” I think whatever happened to me was part of my growing, it was destined to happen.
I was broke in love, money and life. I was literally having no direction. And that was a painful time but I now realized that it was the best thing that happened to me.
People tell you to speak up and then they say what you should speak. that makes no sense to me.
I was like to urge people to be kind to People in pity. If you can’t show empathy, leave them alone.
I’m solely accountable for whatever happens in my life.
3. Ever thought of doing suicide?
Yes, the time when I was in debt and had a breakup. The stress made me quit my job as well.
The worst part was that my family wasn’t aware of it that I’m in debt of such a huge amount. I had thought of having a suicide, but I sustained.
I shout out to everybody having such thoughts,
“Life is about ups and downs, and it always gives a second chance.”
4. How rejection feels and how do you deal with it?
It is painful, And I still feel it when I remember it.
The breakup, the aftermath, the heartache. The Pain was real.
At that time I could just hold my self, but I didn’t know how to deal with it. But then I’ve realized that All happened for a good reason. I’ve learnt that rejections are part of life and one should treat as one of the life events. No Special.
5. Do you overthink?
Oh gosh, A lot.
I was in debt, I quit the job out of depression, And was the only source of income to my family. I went to Dubai and was not getting any hope immediately.
Let me tell you, I did not live a single second during a lot of time then. I was so depressed and I wasn’t even having any craving for food OR such happiness either.
Overthinking. All the time. In my mind, I was fighting with 2 EMIs, family bills and debt from friends. All the alternative possibilities that could have happened.
It’s bad, very bad for mental health. I repeat Mental health.
6. Okay, You said Depression?
I was so depressed and I wasn’t even having any craving for food OR such happiness either.
I even had sleep paralysis for a few nights. (Yes, the feeling of being conscious but unable to move.)
Only sorrow or rather the guilt I was feeling that time is mental abusement from her that I didn’t do anything for her, While I did everything that I could. I was emotionally destroyed. (yes, he used the word destroyed, I could sense the pain)
But during this month I made my self suffered a lot as I was cutting cost for the food, I was walking instead of taking a taxi for interviews.
One thing I want to tell you that It was not so hard to overcome the financial problem but It was very difficult to overcome the emotional problem. Pain might go away but scars remain.
After one more month of struggle in Dubai, I went back home with an offer letter and came back on Employment Visa, I felt like a dream, all these happened so quickly.
Maybe it was the start of my new life.
But in the last few years, I’ve been matured so much. Sometimes, I feel I’m a grandpa. (I had a long laugh here, didn’t expect the sarcasm at all)
7. Kindness
It’s my biggest weakness and greatest strength (mine as well).
We should be kind to people for no reason.
8. Do you believe in God? If yes, do you believe that everything happens for a good reason?
Yes, I do And I’m so grateful to the god.
I believe that God made me go through the tough situations of life and I became emotionally stronger. And I have a better career and A happy family to care about.
But I believe the extraordinary things do not happen in life by living the ordinary life. Hard times, Heartbreaks, Setbacks, Sufferings are necessary for that. God is preparing us to face the setbacks for the life you want.
Some people are not going through such situations is because they do not need such lessons in their life. They don’t need to learn anything like that And I would say the Amazing karma of them.
And Yeah…Every person, every place and everything happens to you for a reason.
You either go through OR grow through it.
9. Who are you?
I’m the happiest person on the earth. (See the comparison But no comparison!!!)
My losses are mine, My wins are mine.
I’m looking for happiness and know that it is not the destination but a journey. And I would urge people to do the same.
I’m introvert, And I’m so grateful that I’m an introvert person.
10. Final thoughts
This was no question rather my thoughts.
There are no enough talking about mental health in our society, young kids attempt doing suicide, good earning, well-set, family people attempt too.
I’m urging all of you out there to seek help if you are feeling depressed, stress, anxiety, sleeping problems. It’s okay to have it. Don’t worry and Speak up.
And I would urge all to recognize and help your fellow family members, kids, friends, colleagues or anyone you know.
And yeah, I’m putting the photo of a beautiful human being named Aman.
I’m so happy after writing this article. I’m grateful to Aman Panchal for this opportunity. And we’re so grateful for anyone who is reading this article.
